As I drive around our large neighborhood in my front wheel drive sleigh, it’s fun to look at the Christmas lights and decorations in all their glory. Each evening a few more homes get into the act of exterior illumination. I’ve noticed three tiers of design when it comes to rigging up the lights and other decor. The tiers can overlap a bit, but general distinctions exist:

Professional

Professional Christmas light installers are hired to handle everything. Lights hang straight with no bends in the strands. For those of us who are obsessive-compulsive with decorating, it’s a thing of beauty. These homes usually have a minimalist but tasteful look, meaning the light strands are only one or two colors — clear white or red is the trend — and the front yards don’t include inflatable Santas or snowmen.

Do-It-Yourself

Most people fall into this category on the design scale. Speaking of falling, ladder accidents are common. Roof lines are decorated. Wrought iron fences are often lit. A more liberal color palette is used. Sometimes the lights hang straight. Sometimes they don’t. I saw a home the other night where blue duct tape holding lights to the trim had fallen away, creating a large dip in the strand over the entryway. Lawn decorations also make their debut at this tier.

Clark W. Griswold

Christmas throws up on the house and the front yard. There is no real direction, per se. Every available space is decorated or lit. Lights hang haphazardly out of trees and along the home’s roof line as though the rigger had generously imbibed eggnog while decorating. A few bulbs are burned out. Multiple projected laser or LED lights shine on the house. Tinny Christmas music plays out of a lawn ornament. Extension cords snake through the yard powering the inflatable ice skating Snoopy, which is about to topple over onto the poor Baby Jesus. Best of all, the holiday decor stays up well into the next year. It’s the kind of spectacle that makes one appreciate a homeowners association.

When I was a kid my room resembled the Griswold tier. Lights and decorations were everywhere. I Scotch-taped a fair amount of tacky gold tinsel to the wall. Colored twinkle lights were put up with heavier masking tape. ‘Twas the night before Christmas and ugly as sin, but oh how those lights made li’l Clarke grin!

These days we have electric candles in most of the windows in our home. That doesn’t sound exciting, but when I walk or drive past the house at night the simple elegance stands out. My mom makes a gorgeous wreath each year, which I hang on the front door. Usually I pull out my green theme park laser and shine it on our home, but our siding is currently being replaced, so I’ll keep the light indoors this year. It should be perfect for use in the living room. Our daughter, who already enjoys seeing the “Kissmas” lights around the neighborhood, will love it! I hope to one day teach her all I think I know about holiday lighting. She’s probably the only one who will want my leg lamp from A Christmas Story.

However you decorate for the holidays — tacky or tasteful — have fun! I’ll be looking for your house. Go easy on the eggnog, and be careful on that ladder! We’ll catch up again around Valentine’s Day when it’s time to take everything down…